'i dOn'T hAve a CuLtUrE'

 I finally stopped saying “I don’t have a culture”.

Why did I say it in the first place?

Being Pakeha is a privileged, though disorienting role. My family is British, though we have lived in New Zealand for multiple generations. I have never set foot in Britain in my life. Despite this, I have always felt hesitant saying I am a ‘New Zealander’ since I know my family, at various points in history, traveled here from the other side of the world.  

Additionally, ‘multicultural’ days at school would always leave me stumped. Other kids would come to school in beautiful extravagant garments from all over the world, and there were dancing and singing performances from many cultures. On these days, I would come to school in uniform and sit and watch. Sometimes in art classes, we would make pictures and collages that were supposed to reflect our identity; some people were able to put flags and other indicators of cultural belonging, but I never knew what to put in those gaps besides kitschy Kiwiana nonsense. 

It wasn’t until this year and taking this paper, that I understood how stupid (and insanely privileged) this sounds. The exnomination of whiteness in New Zealand is enormous. 

I never had anything to wear on ‘multicultural day’ because white fashion and modesty standards are normalized not only in New Zealand but in the bulk of mainstream media. White clothes are the ones they made into the very school uniform I would be stuck wearing. White clothes are the ones you’ll find first at the mall. (or styles appropriated from other cultures that white people are profiting from) White clothes are the ones worn by news reporters, weathermen, celebrities, and actors on TV every night. 

I never had any songs to sing because songs made by people who look like me are the ones on the radio every day, the ones trending on social media, the ones used in most commercials, in Hollywood film soundtracks etc. 

I never had a dance to do because we can’t dance anyways (hehe)

Following the lecture we had discussing exnomination and whiteness in NZ, I started to see these ‘invisible’ white cultural norms all over the place. 

• The culture of individualism; leaving our elderly to gather dust in retirement homes while we crack on with our 9-5 jobs that pay for our personal belongings which we do not share. 

• The fact that we even have to question whether or not Matariki would be a valid public holiday, the fact that Maori language week is always a time of heated racist arguments, while Easter and Christmas are so accepted we start selling corny pieces of candy like three months in advance and blast our Christmas songs about snow that we have never seen on Christmas here anyway. 

• Our justice systems operate in a very ‘white’ way too, especially for adult perpetrators: punitive justice is favored over community support and rehabilitation/restorative justice that Maori tend to favor.

• Our education system is white: teaching biased and incomplete history, grading students for essays on books and films created by white people, favoring students who succeed in academia regardless of their social, creative, and physical abilities.

Moving forward, I'm keen to start embracing the Pakeha label and acknowledging this position (and all the privilege it comes with) in Aotearoa.