"I'm just white."

During the lecture on Pakehaness, I found it really interesting how fifteen percent of New Zealanders don't identify with a particular culture. And as I was thinking about this, I guess I realised I'm also part of that fifteen percent. Whenever people ask where I'm from, like as in 'from from' I'm just like 'Ah I'm just white". I mean, I know some specifics of my background, but I've never felt like I've ever identified with any of these places and their cultures. And not to sound like I'm undermining my privilege of being white, but whenever I have mentioned the fact I inherit Italian, French, and Scottish routes, those asking me often say "Oh, so you're white" or say things like "Ah, like every white person". I've just found it's easier for me as an externally outwardly white person in New Zealand to say that "Yeah, I'm just white". 

I remember when I was a kid in school, I used to always brag to my friends that I was ⅛ Greek and all my friends thought that was super cool. Now I don't even think to mention it because what even is ⅛? I had a great grandmother who was Greek, but that's it, though. That Greek heritage has not passed down through my family at all. Does that even have any significance in my cultural identity? 

The only culture I talk about is my Italian heritage, and that's only because people that I meet for the first time always compliment my last name and mention how interesting it is. Thing is though; I'm not even Italian. My mother was adopted into a family who was second generation Italian-New Zealanders, so by blood, I'm not even an ounce Italian. 

My dad always told me as a kid that my ancestors were Transylvanian pirates, and I actually believed I was a vampire. But now if in a serious conversation about ethnicity, I couldn't bring up the fact I have Romanian heritage, because I have no authentic and genuine cultural connections with that place. 

Also growing up in a small town, where you were grouped into white, Maori or Pasifika, calling myself white has always just been the norm for me, and same with my childhood friends too. Even my half Filipino friend called herself 'white' because her dad is white and she wasn't Maori or Pasifika, and this system always seemed to make sense to me. It wasn't until I moved to Auckland that I realised other cultures actually existed in New Zealand. Of course, I knew that there were more than just white, Maori and Pasifika people in New Zealand, but I had never actually really seen it before I moved here, which saying this now, is absolutely shocking to me. 

This post is just a bit of a brain vomit to get my thoughts out there surrounding my own personal cultural affiliations. For me, I never grew up identifying with a specific culture/s or celebrated any particular cultures that have been ⅛ at a time passed down to me. Maybe that's just my family, or because of the small town I grew up in, but it's something that I've only come to realise now that meaning of cultural pride is missing in my life.